Red Flags

Domestic/Intimate Partner Violence

For You:

  • Feeling afraid of your partner
  • Feeling you don’t do anything right
  • Feeling embarrassed by your partner’s behavior
  • Believe that you deserve what you’re getting
  • Avoid topics out of fear of your partner
  • Feeling tied down
  • Feeling if you love your partner enough the relationship will get better
  • Crying a lot, depressed, unhappy

Does Your Partner:

  • Humiliate, criticize or yell at you or others
  • Blame you for their behavior
  • Threaten or harm you, your kids or pets
  • Force you to have sex
  • Act jealous and possessive
  • Keep you from seeing friends and/or family
  • Limit your ability to get a job, go to school, access money or necessities
  • Constantly check on you: call, text, etc.
  • Threaten to kill themselves if you leave
  • Abuse alcohol or other drugs
  • History of trouble with the law, fights, breaking/destroying property
  • Abuses other family members: parents, siblings, pets, etc.
  • Cheats or has lots of other partners
  • Accuses you of flirting with others
  • Ignores you when you’re expressing your feelings, beliefs, or needs
  • Tells you how to dress/act

Mood swings For Your Friend:

  • Frequent injuries from accidents, in odd places, or injuries they can’t explain
  • Suddenly misses work, school, or cancels plans
  • Receives frequent phone calls from their partner
  • Fear their partner, refer to partner’s behavior
  • Lacks assertiveness or is very submissive
  • Isolated, hard to contact, doesn’t contact you, other friend, or family
  • Insufficient resources: money, credit cards, transportation, etc.
  • Their partner calls your friend names and puts them down in front of others
  • Partner acts jealous when your friend talks to members of the opposite sex
  • You’ve seen their partner lose their temper or get violent when they are with others
  • Is always worried about their partner
  • Giving up things that used to be important to them
  • Weight, appearance, grades, etc changed dramatically
  • Changes in daily rituals
  • Stopped hobbies
  • Excessive amount of time in contact or with their partner

*Information from Red Flag Campaign; Safe Place

Sexual Abuse Abuser:

  • Extremely over protective
  • Overly interested in the Child’s social or sexual life
  • Acts jealous of the child
  • Refers to the child in sexual ways
  • Unusual interest in the child or children in general
  • Has child-friendly toys, books, movies, etc, but has no children
  • Systematic and prolonged access to children
  • Finds a way to legitimize contact with children
  • Befriends children’s parents to gain access Children:
  • Preoccupied with sex play
  • Sexually acts out toward other children, exposes genitals frequently
  • Unusual amount of masturbation
  • Unusual sexual behavior with inanimate objects, mimicking with dolls or toys
  • Withdrawn
  • Extreme changes in grades: A-Student to C,D,F Low-grade student to A’s and B’s
  • Aggression
  • Bed Wetting
  • Terror, phobias, unusual fears
  • Changes in appetite

Elder Abuse Physical/Personal signs:

  • Bruises, welts, cuts, scalp soreness, burns, bed sores
  • Injuries not in locations normally associated with a fall inside of limbs, throat, buttocks
  • Symptoms of over or under medication
  • Sprains, dislocation, bone injuries
  • Broken or missing eyeglasses, false teeth, hearing aids, etc.
  • Withdrawal
  • Looks to a caregiver before answering, doesn’t speak in their presence
  • Isolated
  • Self-blame
  • Provides implausible or inconsistent explanations – Fear

Environmental/Financial signs:

  • Strong odor of urine/feces
  • Lack of utilities
  • Spoiled food
  • Uncared for pets
  • Rodent or insect infestation
  • Unexplained or sudden inability to pay bills, money withdrawals
  • Disparity between assets and living conditions
  • Extraordinary interest by caregiver (family member) in their assets.