I hope this newsletter finds you all doing well and looking forward to a happy, healthy holiday season. Here at the Crisis Center of Central New Hampshire (CCCNH), we are working hard to support the survivors we serve through the busy, stressful time of the year. We are also encouraging ourselves, and one another, to try to find balance and a sense of peace.
What we also are aware of at CCCNH, and with the people we serve, is that the holiday season can be very activating (“triggering”) for those who have experienced trauma. Although the trauma we deal with daily is very specific to the population we serve, trauma overall is universal. Trauma can occur from a variety of life events and circumstances. It often is related to how we are able to process the information at that time in our lives. These might include things like the loss of a loved one, beloved pet, home or even job. It could include a natural or medical trauma. It could also be something less obvious like a stressful work environment or financial struggles. All these types of trauma are valid, and can impact us in ways that we are not always aware of. It can also lead us to act/react in ways that are not typical.
“Trauma results from an event, series of events, or set of circumstances that is experienced by an individual as physically or emotionally harmful or threatening and that has lasting adverse effects on the individual’s functioning and physical, social, emotional, or spiritual well-being,” (Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration [SAMHSA]. This means that things that are traumatic for me may not be as traumatic for you. It also means that at various times in our lives trauma can impact us differently even for the same situation.
With this understanding of trauma, and the fact that this time of year is already very stressful for many, CCCNH feels it important to be as trauma informed as we can be during the holiday season.
Ways to be trauma informed this holiday season include:
In the Community
- Asking how someone would like to be greeted. Are they a hugger or prefer a handshake? Do they have preferred pronouns?
- Do not take others’ behaviors personally – When that store clerk is snippy or the person behind you at the shopping center beeps before the light is green, remember that most often others’ behavior is NOT about us and it often could be their trauma being activated. Each of us is navigating through the day with a different set of circumstances in the background. Understanding that makes it easier to give grace (and often empathy) to others.
- Give grace – To yourself and others. If the holiday is not exactly what you hoped for or if the stress of it all is getting overwhelming, it is okay because you are doing the best you can and most others are too.
If someone you care about is struggling this holiday season
- Be open and curious. Ask if they would like to talk about what is difficult for them (but don’t push or demand).
- Be on the lookout for common trigger reactions including: out of context behavior does not match the situation (big reaction to smaller issue), deep sadness, increased binge eating or substance use to dull the pain, shutting down or going silent.
- Provide support and validation that there is nothing wrong with what is happening or how they are feeling.
If you are struggling this holiday season try to:
- Learn some basic grounding techniques to help control emotions in the moment
- Breathing – Slow, deep inhale for a count of 5 and then slow, deep exhale for a count of 5 (3 times in a row – or as many as necessary)
- 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique – 5 things you see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you taste
- Be aware of your potential triggers/activations. Ask yourself what situations, circumstances or time frames may be triggering?
- Are there certain smells, foods or other holiday traditions that might be difficult for you?
- Is this a time of year where loss or other trauma may be more evident than in the day to day?
- Give yourself space. Carve out time for peace and quiet and give yourself a few minutes (or more) to breathe during this busy time. The more heightened we are overall, the more likely our trauma is to surface. Working to build in some space, whatever that means for you, allows us to enjoy the holiday season more with less rush and more intention.
I hope these tips help with anything that surfaces for you this holiday season and are grateful for your commitment and support throughout the year.
I look forward to 2023 and all that is in store!